Rise of the Ancient Faith
When we left the story, I had just started Seminary in 2002. I also took this time to immerse myself in the Evangelical™/Charismatic church that I was attending. Playing on worship team, sitting on staff meetings and doing a small internship. I was very firmly planting myself in the Evangelical™ stream and seeking out where it was that God was calling me to be when I graduated. I was barreling full steam ahead, not really knowing what lay at the end.
Somewhere in 2004 though I started having questions in my head. I started to think about what kind of pastorate I would want to serve when I was done, and what type of church I wanted to serve. But as I started to seek answers to these questions I became very disheartened. Most of the churches out there in the Evangelical™ world ran on a “entrepreneurial” model. That means that as a pastor you either go and shop your resume around to various churches, or you start your own thing. There was something about this model that troubled me and I wasn’t sure what, but I didn’t feel I could go along with it. At the time though I didn’t know where that would leave me, so I simply shelved the thoughts for the time being and concentrated on getting my requirements done.
At the time I don’t think I had consciously thought about moving towards Orthodoxy or Catholicism, but in hindsight I think some of the seeds were there. However, in 2005 something happened that shook me deeply. I was visiting my friend Wes at his church in Philly. I was going to be preaching there, giving my first real “professional” sermon, and Wes was kind enough to open his house to me for a few days while we visited for the first time in real-life (being online friends before this). The weekend that I was at Wes’ house happened to be the weekend that the Pope passed away. I remember sitting in Wes’ living room watching the coverage of the vigil, and then after his passing, and seeing thousands and thousands of people on their knees in prayer. So many people had been touched by the work and life of this Godly man, and the least they felt they could do is come and pray for him as he passed from this life. As I watched, this feeling inside me said, “I should be there. I should be a part of this. I WANT to be a part of this….”
What? I wanted to be a part of all these Catholics? I wanted to be a part of a church that we had been taught in school was a flawed church, that didn’t fully understand the Gospel message? Needless to say, I was a bit confused. Since I was in Philly for other reasons, I put the thoughts out of my head and got back to being a good little Protestant seminarian. However, when I returned I had to start seriously facing some of the questions I had been putting off since 2004, namely, where is it I am meant to serve?
As the middle of 2005 approached I had to make a choice. Complete the Master of Arts degree at Seminary, or continue on to get a Master of Divinity degree (the standard pastor degree). However, I was becoming more convinced that I wasn’t going to be comfortable in an Evangelical context. So I started seeking out other churches. I wanted a church that had what is called a ‘connectional‘ structure of ministry. Simply understood, this is a model where the pastors are placed in a church by the hierarchy, and the congregations aren’t allowed to simply fire pastors they don’t like. Plus, I wanted a church where the liturgy was practiced, at least to some degree. Various circumstances led me back to the United Methodist church, and at the time this seemed like the path for me. However, this meant I had to transfer seminaries and get my degree from a different institution. That seemed like it would work though, and at the end of 2005 I began my studies to become a Methodist pastor.
But wait? That doesn’t sound like the ending of the story yet does it? Of course it’s not, but for now this is where I’ll leave you….
